Thursday, April 26, 2007

It's Charlotte here......

I've sat in front of the computer many times, everyday infact, and go on to the access page for us to write our blogs and I begin to write and then find myself hitting the backspace key on my keyboard because I don't know what to write or I don't like what I've written. You were all such faithful readers for Jack's progress and now I find myself unable to write about us.

Tomorrow will be one month that Jack passed and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't cry, even if it's only for a few moments. Pictures are tough, I try to not look at too many in one sitting because I am shot for the rest of the day. I think of his touch that I will no longer feel and I am afraid I will forget it and Jack gave the best kisses. Roy and I used to compete over who would get more kisses and Jack used to always give Roy more, can you believe that, he would give me one or two pecks and give Roy about 10 or 12. We would laugh. I remember when Jack would have difficulty with walking up the stairs (before he stopped walking) or his legs would hurt from the edema and he would ask me to carry him up, I would tell him to put his head on my shoulder and hold on like he was hugging me and you know I was doing that to steal hugs!!!

We have been keeping ourselves busy with Christina with softball, twirling and gymnastics and she is getting used to having mommy and daddy around all the time. She asks a lot of questions and talks about her brother a lot. She is so smart and beautiful and likes to laugh about certain memories she holds in her heart. We go to the cemetary every day and the we're waiting on the sketches for the head stone. Someone had sent us condolence flowers in the shape of Buzz Lightyear, which is absolutely fantastic, and it is still standing at the head of Jack's plot as if Buzz is guarding him. I am so thankful that my uncle who passed many years ago left the cemetary plot to my mother and it is right here in Fairfield not even a mile from our house and all our boys are there. My brother, my nephew , my brother-in-law, my dad and now Jack is there, we have all our gaurdian angels together in one place.

We have some pictures we will eventually post, we're just not ready yet. The days are long and the nights are longer without our little boy, but we're ok. We have good and bad days and we're just trying, moving on and living to make a difference. I read about the other NEMO boys everyday to keep up with their progress and it makes me feel really good to hear how well they are doing. We have Jack's legacy to fulfill and there is so much information that we need to know about NEMO. Please remember to keep these families in your thoughts and prayers. If anyone is wondering what they can do for us, please consider becoming part of the National Bone Marrow Registry. There are so many children who need the chance to live and a transplant may be their only way.
http://www.marrow.org/

Thank you, again and again and again for always keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.